mishkan and marriage

I came up with a great vort this shabbos and I wanted to share it with you. I was at sheva brachos for a couple I don't know and I was thinking about the mishkan. The mishkan is a fascinating subject because it defines exactly how God wants us to serve him. The essence of God is in the details, as we are commanded to build it exactly according to specification. There is no room for someone to say, I will worship God in my own way, without the framework of religion.

How is building the mishkan connected to marriage?

בלבבי משכן אבנה - In my heart I will build a mishkan.

Matters of the heart relate to spousal relationship. Building a mishkan in my heart means that in order to have a successful marriage, you need to follow an exact plan in how you act. there is no room for a person to decide that I am going to show love in my own way that is not in the framework of a Jewish marriage. When your wife is sad, you need to give her a hug, but only when it is allowed. During other times you have to show her that you care in other ways.

ולמשכן מזבח אשים - In the mishkan I will put an altar

ולקרבן אקריב לו את נפשי - For a sacrifice I will offer my soul

Spouses have to be prepared to sacrifice for one another. Things won't always go your way and very often you will need to compromise and to give up things that you want. In the framework of marriage, you have to be prepared to completely give your soul to your spouse.

There were 2 other points of building the mishkan that are related to marriage:

1) It takes a lot of hard work, but the end result is a sanctuary

2) Both men and women have to put in the effort, but not on the same things. There are jobs for the wife and jobs for the husband, and very seldom do they overlap. Marriage is not 50%-50%, it is 100%-100%, each side has to do their job 100%.