ashes to ashes, dust to dust the lord giveth the lord taketh, blessed is the true judge.
mom sent out an email that grandpa isy died. That sounds like a strange way to get a death notice. My bubba (jewish grandmothers in West Virginia are called bubba) married isy about 15 years ago, when I was going into 9th grade. It was hard to think of him as a grandfather because I still had strong memories of my papa who died a year or so before. But we welcomed him into the family, because he made my bubba so happy. Bubba died 2 years ago, just before we made aliyah and Isy was moved to NY to be with his son and family. He had bad case of Alzheimers and couldn't remember anything, but he had a great sense of humor about it. Our family has many Isyisms now, sayings that will stay with us forever.
It's strange how he was both a family insider and an outsider at the same time, kind of like an in-law who you don't really know. He was warmly welcomed at all family events but we related to him as my bubba's husband, not any real relation to us.
I was sad to hear that he passed away, but not emotionally so. I think they themselves considered the marriage more of an enjoyable convenience then a real marital bond. In their house, he had a room full of his memories of his first wife and history, and bubba her memory room. They each observed the yahrzeit of their first spouse. Neither of them tried or wanted to take away the history from the other.
They are burying him today next to his first wife. My bubba is buried next to my papa. The families grew up together and remained good friends till the end. I'm sure that papa kept isy's first wife company in heaven and isy has now completed the foursome for a game of poker and some wild turkey.